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¿Ü±¹Àλç¹ü¼ö±â(¿µ¹®)-¼ö·· ¼Ó Àλý(1)Lessons in Life: Lessons in Loyalty-1

                                Painful Childhood


   It was through taekwondo that I met a grandmaster whose life is a shining example of manhood. He also became like a father to me. It was also through taekwondo that I discovered the necessary tools to help repair my damaged life.

    My name is Thomas E. Perry. I was the second of six children born to Samuel and Georgia Perry. My family lived in the states of Tennessee and Michigan before moving to Illinois. We finally settled in Rockford (the 2nd largest city in the state, one hour northwest of Chicago). I did not leave that city until my early twenties. My mother still resides there.

     I have few memories of my father. He was always impeccably dressed in suits. It was not unusual for my father to be gone for days at a time. My mother was a regular victim of his abuse. When there was peace between them, other adults would bring violence into our home. Kitchen knives, pots of hot food and glass jugs became effective weapons used on the members of the family.

     The last memory I have of my father was when I was only five years old. My   parents were yelling at each other. I was peeking around the corner. My brothers and sisters were not around for this one. It was during this beating that I heard my mother say something that she had never said before, “I cannot take this anymore!” I do not know where the gun came from. By the time that I saw it, they were wrestling to get control of it. Suddenly I heard what sounded like an explosion. My mother had just shot and killed my father.

     She yelled for one of us to run to the neighbor’s house to call the police. I saw a white sheet (with a big red stain) cover his body. My ears were ringing. I’ll never forget the sickening smell of gun powder and burning flesh.

     I was always a quiet boy. I never talked about that incident to anyone until I was in my thirties. As a matter of fact, my mother did not even know I had witnessed the shooting until thenr. You can imagine how much emotions were bottled up, with anger being the most dominant. That is one of the first things that taekwondo training helped me with. It provided a physical outlet for those negative feelings.

     My mother spent a year in jail while awaiting trial. We were sent to stay with an aunt in Rockford. She had seven children of her own. I can remember how much I hated the chaotic situation that we were forced into. There was not enough of anything - foods, dishes, clothing, etc. for the fourteen of us. If there was food in the house, we ate out of the same bowl - taking turns using spoons. It was truly survival of the fittest. Sleeping arrangements were also a nightmare. I remember   having seven or eight in the same bed. It was not unusual to be kicked or hit when the person(s) next to you tried to turn on their side. I will let you imagine what happened to all of us when just one of us had an “accident” (which was a nightly   occurrence). Some women from the church brought us clothes. We each got one complete outfit.

     We were finally reunited with our mother. The judge said that she had acted in   self-defense. It was not long before she remarried. The domestic violence continued but this time we were the targets. My mother and stepfather had four girls while the Perry children were reminded on a daily basis that he was not our father. His cruelty caused so much pain. Some of these issues were not resolved until I was in my forties. I am thankful that I learned to use taekwondo to heal the hurt instead of creating more.

     Even though our house was always full of kids, I managed to survive. However, each time I left home, I would get into fights. I was so short and skinny that even the girls beat me up. I ran fast. They ran faster. I hit hard. They hit harder. It was not until I began to grow taller and stronger that the streets of Rockford became a little easier for me.

     Things at home were also changing. My mother finally realized how dangerous it was to let her husband continue to abuse her children. She decided to leave with ten children. We moved into the tough Eastside Housing Projects.

     Housing Projects in Rockford were built by the government to provide affordable housing for poor families. There were literally thousands  (predominately from minority groups) who lived within just a few city blocks. Rockford had three Projects spread throughout the city. We were already used to the shootings and stabbings that were   common occurrences in the projects. Most of the families living there were large,   usually with seven to ten kids each. Gangs were not necessary back then - the families were the gangs. If you got into a fight with one person, you would probably have to fight the rest of that family.

     School segregation was still a fairly new idea in Rockford in the 1970s. We were forced to take the bus to schools that were more than one hour away from home. We had to leave friends and attend classes with students who usually did not want us there anyway. The new school “zones” did not make much sense. There were ten children in our family and every one was assigned to a different school. This weakened our ability to support and protect each other and even created more division within the family. Instead of getting the desired result of less stress for the staff and students, the violence at school seemed to increase.

     It was around this time in my life when I began to study martial arts. At first I would work out with the soldiers who were returning home from the Vietnam War. We usually met in parks, backyards or basements. My older brother was the first of our group to enroll in a formal taekwondo school. He brought me to watch one of his classes. As we were walking through the front door, I noticed the pictures of a Korean Master breaking boards and bricks. The name of the school was “Eun’s Institute of Taekwondo.”
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    Thomas Eugene Perry

      Date of Birth: June 24, 1953
      Country: USA 
      Kukkiwon seventh degree black belt

Å丶½ºÀ¯ÁøÆ丮  tkdnews@korea.com

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